Dr Darryl's Blog

It's that time of the year. The time for those New Year Resolutions.

As one year closes and another opens, somehow or other, we feel that we ought to finally do something about that....(fill in the blank).  Maybe it sounds like issues to do with weight / fitness / debt level / poor family relationship / not being organised etc. etc.

But few resolutions ever really happen because there is no "stickbility." So, how do you get traction?

There needs to be the setting of clear and realistic goals. "I want to lose weight" just won't cut it. How much weight by when? Secondly, map out and plan how to do it. A gym membership? A personal trainer? Buy a walker? Go for a walk with a friend three times a week? Work out a food plan? Thirdly, what rewards and punishments will you give yourself as you proceed? Fourthly, who will keep you accountable (because we have a habit of fooling ourselves). Finally, be prepared to adjust your plan as you go along because you learn so much on the journey.

For more information see the article in "The Advertiser" at:

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/south-australia/if-at-first-you-dont-succeed/story-e6frea83-1226232869660

The reporter rang and asked what did I thought of swearing? More to the point, what did I think of the increased, continued and blatant use of swearing in all aspects of life?

It's an interesting question and it exemplifies two main principles.

First, the continued use of swearing in the media for example, including television, the movies, the written press and so on gives permission for many of us to use such language in our own lives. If "they" do it, and I also see my friends or acquaintances do it, then it must be okay for me too. Hence, we all start to become desensitised; in other words, we simply get used to it. This is dangerous. Simply because we hear it often, and by numbers of people in different contexts doesn't make it right.

Secondly, this is a prime example of how the thin edge of the wedge becomes an avalanche. Yes, it might seem prudish in the beginning to complain about the use of swearing in various television programs, or it might seem to be ultra-conservative, but it starts somewhere and the thin edge of the wedge needs to be complained about. Open a crack and over the years (even a decade or so) and the flood-gates open. Then it's too late.

Interestingly, the reporter also asked, what do we do about it now?

How do you plug the dyke? When the dyke breaks, it's useless trying to put your finger in the dyke.

It's a lesson in early intervention. Yes, you might be labelled prudish or something similar, but who wants a general lowering of standards for our community?

You can see the article here:

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/ipad/who-gives-a-about-swearing-anymore/story-fn6bqvxz-1226224458063

Sometimes it is true that some families ought not to get together at Christmas.

Why? Well, with families being families, there is always that "unfinished" business punctuated with anger or resentment that arose over some issue or conflict that has never really been resolved. Maybe it was a little thing or maybe it was a big thing. Maybe it happened to you or maybe it happened to someone else in the family. But it happened.

Sadly, when these families get together over Christmas and alcohol for example, comes into play then, the inhibitions are put aside and people say and do things that ordinarily they probably wouldn't.

So, if you're getting together this Christmas and there's that Uncle or Aunt or cousin that is bound to be there too, think seriously about how you want to act and be. Is it really worth trying to score or square up? Is it really worth putting a barb into that conversation?  What will it take for you to be civil or polite? You don't have to engage in endless chit-chat with them, but think about how you want to approach them.  Yes, I realise that underneath, you may want to strangle them, but how could you really be instead?

The reported from "The Advertiser" interviewed me on this topic.

You can view it at:

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/ipad/controlling-those-festive-cheers/story-fn6br97j-1226224509972